He

He came in my life like a hurricane, changed everything with his touch…. Even I was no longer me, everything around me felt like new… He showed me colours which I didn’t even know existed… Held my hand like it’s going to last forever… As if whatever happens, he will be there for me… We fought but could never break apart… because he always held me so strongly… I could never escape his grip… sometimes I even wanted to… sometimes I didn’t… I wanted to wander… but didn’t want to leave him, my new home… I wanted to take risk… but didn’t want to loose my safe space…

But the journey was not supposed to be so smooth… It had it’s challenges and conditions… It became scary and suffocating… I couldn’t breathe anymore… and I had to quit… and this time he did let me go… but I was so used to of his hand in mine, his arms around me, my head on his shoulders, the support that he will never let me fall… I was happy with my freedom for a while but I missed him… I missed his touch, smell, warmth, comfort everything… I had forgotten all the fights… I could only remember the days when I was about to fall apart and he held me together… I had forgotten my tears… I could only remember the days when we laughed till our stomachs hurt… I had forgotten the conditions… I could only remember his unconditional presence beside me…

I couldn’t resist and went back… but to my surprise, he was not there anymore… there was someone who looked like him but didn’t feel like him… I tried to find him again and again… but every attempt was in vain… I requested, I cried, I begged… but nothing worked out… My hurricane was gone… our journey was over… it all ended at the same point from where it began… now I am the same old me and world around me is also same… It’s hard to differentiate whether that hurricane was real or just a dream… Did we ever cross paths or it was just an illusion… whatever it was, life will go on… with some memories and some lessons… next time when a hurricane comes, I might just close my window… next time when someone says forever, I might feel he hasn’t thought through… next time when I trust, it’s only on me and no one else…

3rd Dec.’22

It’s been so long that I didn’t write and there is so much I have to share. So much to talk about.

So, before starting. Let me briefly introduce myself. I am someone who love challenge, believe in taking risks. But I don’t make any plan or strategy when I take up those challenges. I get into them and then figure out, how can I get it done. Sometimes, things go smooth. Sometimes not. Sometimes they seem like cakewalk. Sometimes they shake my belief in myself.

Does it happen to you too?? How do you deal with it??

So recently I read “The gifts of imperfection” by Brene Brown. I had watched her Ted Talk long back and it was quite inspiring. So, one important concept which this book mentions is “shame and guilt”. It’s like “being wrong and doing wrong”. Doing wrong or committing mistakes is part of our daily life but that doesn’t make us wrong. We do fail at times but that doesn’t make us failure.

Life is just a journey, full of events. Failure and success will be a part of it but we are much more important than these events. Negative vents are like clouds, they may hide our light for sometime but they can’t steal our light. It’s always there like the bright sun.

This was all for this week. Let me know what keeps you motivated to keep taking challenges.

Post 179

Writing after a long time. Clueless what to write but still want to put down something. Lots has changed over the time. My dreams have come true, my prayers have been answered. But now there are new challenges, new worries and new dreams. I have learnt some things in this journey so far but there is a lot more to learn, to do, to explore…

But the main question here is… why did I choose to come here and start writing again ??

Because this blog doesn’t only connect me to you but also me to myself. Sharing whatever thoughts are racing in my head and getting to know what you think about them, brings me to different perspectives. Helps to look at my own thoughts in a different way. 

As I decide to get back to blogging with my reason. Will love to know what motivates you to be here? To write and share with us?